Passions

Our life is a series of moments that grow into an experience. That manifest into a story, that become a memory. We live our lives in hopes to tell the story that we dream of, the story of chasing our passion, but what does that mean?

I recently was watching one of my favorite people, Alex Honold, in his new documentary Free Solo. If you don't know him you will quickly find out he is quite the climber after a quick google search. Although he is known for his daredevil feats of free soloing (no rope climbing) he is also a big wall, endurance climber that travels the world in search of great climbing while also running his non-profit. In the documentary you begin to see that he has true love for the sport of climbing. The way he lights up when he talks about it, the way he records every move, every moment, every route. The film truly documents his passion. Which got me thinking, what are my passions? What does it mean to have a passion?I feel like one of the many faults I have is that I don't get too deep into anything. I'll explain what I mean in a second, but first the thought that made me arrive at that conclusion. What is a passion? The definition goes as such, "strong and barely controllable emotion". I believe a passion is when a hobby becomes so deep it encompasses the aforementioned definition. Barely controllable. Something that you can hardly live without. A piece of you is missing without it. I feel this way about a few hobbies of mine, but not to the depth that I see in Alex. I feel as though I have love for few things, but not in a single discipline. Is it just me? Why is it that I don't get as involved in one area?Heres my thought, when you see people at such a level of passion, such a level of commitment, it's inspiring. It causes you to want something more, to have the feeling of what they have... An utterly indescribable emotion towards one thing. my other observation is this. People who are in positions similar to this, whether it be sport, a creative field, a job, anything that may be your "passion"  it comes before anything else, before anyONE else. Your passion consumes your life, consumes your mind. Which you see in the film with Alex. A few moments have really stuck with me since watching it (twice) and they go as such.Alex is getting an MRI of his brain for the film to see if maybe his brain chemistry is different than most, because of his resistance to fear in most scenarios where the average person would be peeing in their pants. As they start discussing the results they show that his amygdala doesn't light up when compared to the standard brain. This set of neurons is located in the limbic system, the part of the brain responsible for emotions. Emotions like fear, love, hate, sadness... along with this discovery he was taking a questionnaire to accompany the scan, and he paused on one of the questions stating, "Is depressed". To which he responds...hmmm.You see, I think we want "passion"... to an extent. When we really look at those who are passionate about one thing, nothing will stop them. They continually focus on that one aspect and chase it with an undying and burning fire that allows them to do things similar to Alex. They don't allow emotion to overcome them, they move into a state in which the only thing that is clear is their goal. They often lack emotion in other areas of life,  to which they can only "feel" when it is regarding their passion. This brings me to the second moment that has stuck with me from the film. Alex is speaking with his girlfriend and they are discussing their future together, she is asking him about putting her into the "equation" (his life) and if he feels an obligation to maximize his LIFE for her... and he says no.You see the thing they don't tell you about life, the thing they don't tell you about having these passions is this. When you go after one thing with such a burning light, when you offer up all that you have to one thing, its impossible to see much else. So when she asks him to put her in the equation she's asking him to give up a part of himself. To give up the thing he lives for. The thing that he has a passion for. What she's really asking is for one thing... Sacrifice.On purpose,Matt"You weren't there. And thats all a relationship is..it's being there for someone, when you need them most. That's it." - That Awkward Moment